Ashlee Simpson (train wreck) Roundup

Much of the U.S. is fascinated by train wrecks, both figurative and literal. From the “rubbernecking” phenomenon in traffic to the obsessive tabloids at the grocery store, we are fascinated by sudden and overwhelming destruction. I’m usually NOT the one obsessed with celebrity culture, and the one who actually attempts to focus on the road ahead more than the wreckage in the emergency lane, but the interruption of an otherwise boring, lopsided national title game between Oklahoma and USC by a travesty of a halftime show has me fascinated for pure, unintentional humor value.

I despise the invasion of privacy conducted by rags like the Enquirer, InTouch Weekly, etc, simply to sell magazines, but public performances are fair game. Clearly, technical difficulties hampered all 3 performers in Tuesday’s Orange Bowl – Kelly Clarkson, Chet Adkins, and Ashlee Simpson, but the train wreck of the night was Ashlee Simpson (which is saying something, given the Drubbing the Oklahoma Sooners received). Her performance made viewers WISH she was lip-synching like the incident that embarrassed her on Saturday Night Live. From the start of her singing career, it has been clear that she should have simply continued the acting career she began on 7th Heaven. On her MTV show, her vocal strains attempting to record “Pieces of Me” should have been clear indications that her singing career should have been short-lived, but MTV flexed their marketing muscle to the masses who are clearly tone-deaf, and a platinum-selling album was born. (As an aside, I grant her sister Jessica, points for having vocal talent. A simple listen to Jessica’s first single demonstrates that the girl has some pipes, even if lacking some common sense and originality.) I don’t wish failure on anyone, but I resent being sold a fake bill of goods, which is what much of modern music is designed to do. Thus I enjoy those rare moments when it’s crystal clear that the emporer has no clothes.

That being said, there are a few links I found this evening that are well worth sharing: